Pull up a Seat.
I believe that there is nothing better you can possibly do in your mental health journey than to simply pull up a seat for that lil’ beasty.
You can meet with therapists, re-align chakras, take meds, and go on silent retreats… I’m sure all of that will help but to be perfectly honest, the biggest, most constant and singularly consistent step that I am 100% in control of everyday, is whether or not I’ve made room for the reality of my mental health at the same table that I’m sitting at.
I walked around for decades pretending that I was fine. My mental health and the deepest, most authentic parts of me, were used to being separate from the entirety of me, used to being pushed to the side, covered up and glossed over.
No wonder I felt sad.
And no wonder I lashed out to hurt myself.
I pushed myself aside in favour of boys, friends, bosses, and everything in between. I contorted, cut up and sliced off anything that was too big, messy, and unsightly to be seen.
I am unsure as to the invisible judges that were naming those bits as such, but I listened without question and adjusted myself accordingly.
A folded piece of origami.
Pulling up a seat is a lot easier than the folding required for the endless shrinking that hiding the entirety of your soul asks of you… Aside from the fact that you need to take it with you everywhere you go.
Going to the shops? Chuck that seat in the car.
About to do a painting? Pull one up right beside the easel.
Walking past a mirror, getting ready for a date, needing to cook some dinner? Go get that seat baby!
We can 100%, absolutely, without a doubt, count on our mental health being a factor of every single one of our days, which begs us to ask the question, why does it come as such a surprise that we need to make room for it?
I’m of the firm belief that there is no freedom without responsibility, and I break that down by looking at that which is in my control. I can’t control the fact that my body needs food, clothes, and fun things like art supplies. I also can’t control that for whatever reason, I am born into a life form that has mental health to begin with… But I can control something!
And that is, that I know my lil’ beast, my Slug, my mental health will be with me everywhere I go!
Whenever I’m doing anything I take that seat with me, and I make sure my Slug is feeling welcome, seen, known, and that my ears are open, not to be berated and bullied, but so that the whole of me feels heard.
And I think that’s the secret to this seat business… We’re not saying “Dear mental health, please bully me”...
What we’re saying and doing is a beautiful and simple act of recognition. And after decades of being pointedly ignored, can you imagine how freeing and GOOD that would feel???!
To be honest, if I were my mental health, I wouldn’t trust me in the slightest. I would need a while to settle down my saltiness if someone treated me the way that I have treated those more unsavoury and chaotic parts of myself… Which is why we take the chair everywhere we go. We’re teaching this metaphorical, magical, but also very real part of ourselves that they can trust us to hold them.
Long story short, when life is feeling tough and crowded, pull up a seat for Slug, let that little fucker know you’re there together.
XXXX ALi
