Every Morning

A mental illness isn’t something that takes days off. Which means that if you, like so many of us, struggle with self acceptance and love for who you are and what your life represents, I beseech you to take a leaf out of my book and begin your days with a wee bit of recognition for our tireless and uninvited companion… It’s quick, easy, and annoyingly repetitive, but so is listening to our Slugs!

This is what I do; In the name of vigilance and with the hope of continued remission on my lips, every morning, I wake up and greet my Slug with a hearty hello.

I look around and think of something to be thankful for, and thank it (sunlight, breath, a mattress, coffee). Thoughts appear in my mind; anxieties, fears, worries, shoulds… I say hello to Slug again, and rethink all of those thoughts but with more reality attached.

As I’m making breakfast I talk to my body, checking in with how it feels, what it needs, how I can serve it.

I go about my day and as I do, more thoughts appear in my mind; anxieties, fears, worries, shoulds… I say hello to Slug each time, and award myself several gold stars for having that awareness.

I work, I create, I serve, I eat, I exercise, I say hello at all times, making sure that my Slug knows I see it hiding behind my imposter syndrome, crouching in my fear of not being good enough, and slithering alongside me, telling me I haven’t done enough as I finish up my last lap of the pool.

I bear witness to Slug as I realise I didn’t pack a snack despite knowing I am a human being and will need to eat in order to sustain my energy. I remedy the situation and make it Slug’s problem.

Slug tries to turn every possible scenario into one of comparison, I try to turn it into appreciation instead.

I prepare dinner, sometimes it’s hard, I ask for help.

I shower and look at my naked body, I thank it.

I rub lotions and spells into my skin. I’ve made a habit of grabbing my flesh, especially my stomach. I thank my legs, my arms, my knees, my teeth, and my feet for gloriously living through another day with me.

I end my evening, check in with myself, and celebrate the choices that mattered that day. The multiple times that I chose fact over Slug’s fiction and forced myself to act for my biggening. Today I showed up.

Tomorrow will offer me the same opportunity, I just need to keep on grabbing it.

XXXXX ALi